I am generally just annoyed by about 80% of the forwards I have gotten over the years....I do not believe any wishes will come true if I do not forward on the chain mail so I rarely share those forwards with other people.
Every now and then, a funny forward finds its way into my inbox. Earlier this week, I received one that I just had to share.
I could've written most of these...In fact, I wish I HAD written them! I may have to write my own list! I laughed out loud on some of them, they are universally funny and totally true! Enjoy!
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I know for sure I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste!
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
19. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
20. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
21. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
22. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
23. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
24. Shirts get dirty. Underwear get dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
25. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
26. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
27. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
#28 (this one is mine!) Every time I see one of those mini tents or mini trampolines at a sporting goods store, I wish I could get out some barbies and play!!