My Art Journal-Week 2

Journaling. Truly poetic writing doesn't come naturally to me unless I am in the zone. To just randomly jot down something perfectly powerful isn't my style. Perhaps I am not serious or self-reflective enough to let myself reside in that not-fully-conscious-I'm-writing-something-important-please-leave-me-alone state often enough. There are simply too many distractions to be witty and graceful and powerful and deep very often.

When journal writing, I catch myself writing the same happy wishes over and over because I tend to turn my back on the really hard, intense, emotionally disturbing stuff because to write about that stuff....well, that would mean that I would have to glance back at the pile of ugly experiences and feelings that I am not entirely proud of:

• the tissues full of frustrated tears
• broken promises
• angry emails/texts that I deleted before I actually hit send
• oops--crafts
• stained sweaters
• single earrings that I won't throw away just in case I might find the missing one
• dirty looks
• slammed doors
• the fact that sometimes I want to be really passively aggressive just to prove a point
• 'dropped calls' that weren't really dropped--I did hang up on you
• bad photos with double chins
• burnt toast
• the wad of hair that clogs the drain
• that new recipe that I tried and didn't really turn out so I threw most of it away
• the smell of dog poop that sears its brand into your nostril hairs even after you clean off your shoe
• nostril hair
• the candy that may or may not have survived the ten second rule--but you ate it anyway
• letting someone try your drink even though you didn't really want to share your straw with anyone--especially not them--but you are too nice to hide your disgust at drinking after them so you share with them anyway
• bad hair days
• clothes in your closet that are too small never get thrown away--just in case
• farting, belching, blowing your nose--the gross realities of humanity
• silent treatments
• bad breath
• broken nails
• sulking about not getting your way
• the story you started to tell but no one was listening so you stopped mid-sentence and continued eating your lunch--feeling like a total loser
• the really advice you gave--that your best friend ignored
• spending way too much on something you don't even need--or spending  too much at the Target dollar section on a bunch of junk you don't need
• not tipping enough because you only get paid once a month and you could barely afford to go to dinner in the first place
• stubbed toes
• deleting that Facebook friend just because their status updates annoy you
• crying at network t.v. and pretending that you are just tired because you are embarrassed that were moved to tears
• actually crying because someone hurt your feelings
• dusting, dishes, and laundry
• confronting a coworker
• road rage
• throwing away birthday cards or photographs
• forgetting someone's birthday
• pretending to be listening when you are really daydreaming

....you know...all that crap...the crap that happens but it isn't really worth a journal page...or a tweet...or even a single written word...I want to cover that stuff with a a rug....and pretend that life is always happy and pretty and easy and fun. But life isn't like that and I know that my journal pages need to reflect some of that really ugly stuff in order to be more beautiful and real.

there is a lot of power in truth. the truth is more interesting than the shiny, happy facade.


I am sure that everyone has a story to tell...and I know that I have some very raw experiences that would make great blog posts, journal entries and short stories....but for now I am keeping the really hard stuff locked up in a vault because it isn't pretty to look at...and it doesn't make me happy to drag it out and show it off...but someday, maybe I will write about more of the ugly stuff....

thank you for reading my blog. I truly try to create a beautiful place for inspiration. The photos in this post are from my art journal. 


Check out my birds of a feather blog post today to see a review of a gorgeous journaling book by Sabrina Ward Harrison.

{ho-hum} Patchword parade

Time and energy seem to be disproportionate to inspiration and motivation in the winter.
So while I have the time, I have no motivation.
I hate it when that happens.
It seems like whenever I am pressed for time and energy, I get explosive bursts of creative ideas and I just want to be in my studio making art.
But this weekend, (with Friday = snowday bonus) I haven't made a single thing. I've tried looking for inspiration, but I just want to be curled up under a quilt.

So I am taking the week off from blogging to try to gather up some mojo and hopefully I will feel inspired again soon.

On Wednesday I will have another inspiration parade for you. ;-)

For now, I've got a lovely collection of quilt and bedroom pictures from We Heart It. Enjoy!

{Thoughts} One Year Today.

Yahoo! One year ago today I started this blog. My creativity, craftsmanship and design have improved tremendously through my participation in challenges, guest design spots and swaps over the last year.


{Reflecting}
Since last summer, I have started teaching workshops for both scrap booking and card making. I have taught demonstrations at crops and home gatherings on techniques. I have started a club for my stamping friends so that we can swap cards once a month.

This blog has encouraged me to move my creative space out of the corner (nobody puts baby in the corner!) and I have literally taken over the spare bedroom as my studio. By following other crafters and reading about their daily crafting experiences I think about creating something every day. Generally, I don't actually make something daily...but weekly...and if I am lucky, I get to spend several hours in the creative zone every week.


{Close to My Heart}
Being a personal consultant for Close to My Heart has changed my life. Last summer my amazing upline encouraged me to start this blog. The company is so supportive of consultants and the training academy is incredible. Through the training academy, I found personal, business and creative development. Jeanette Lynton is a creative genius. I am proud to be part of such an amazing organization. I love sharing the art of stamping with people. My favorite part of being a consultant is when I am teaching a workshop and people have that aha-moment and I can tell that they have learned how to do something they had never imagined before. Having a successful business has supported my ever-growing collection of tools and supplies and I can justify buying new paper, stamps and embellishments because I really do need them!

{Photography}
I have gotten back into photography as a serious hobby since last summer. I bought a couple of new cameras and I appreciate the art of taking pictures.



{People}
Having a place where my cards, layouts and designs are appreciated makes everything I do worthwhile. I am truly inspired to make things that make me feel good and having a sincere audience is a driving force behind my motivation. Knowing that my readers are wondering 'where I am' is enough motivation to get me into the studio to produce quality creations.

Having said that, I must delve into the argument of creativity and criticism. In my life I meet lots of women that are self-labeled 'not creative' and I get quite a bit of opposition and jealous attitudes because of my talents. I do not try to rub it in or brag that I create art, but the snide comments about the fact that I 'made' something do hurt. I don't know if people are as harsh towards knitters or quilters...but whenever I complete a painting or mini-book I always note the hint of disdain in comments that follow "Oh, you made that...." Usually, the comments are sweet enough, but the jealous and annoyed undertones are definitely present.

The thing I don't think they GET is...I NEED to make stuff. I HAVE to paint. I HAVE to make collages. I HAVE to do it...I don't get a break from creativity. I can't turn it off. Just like an athlete who has to train and work out, it is ingrained into my very being. (Speaking of athletics, I must admit that I reflect a jealous attitude towards the naturally gifted and athletic women that I meet so I am guilty too!) But as far as creativity, I have chosen a career that lets me flex my creative energy every day and I hope that I am always able to be creative in my hobbies and career.

{Paper Crafting as a career}
Seriously stepping into the world of paper crafting and following different companies, designers and editors has changed my perspective on the hobby. I read a variety of blogs, and I love seeing the behind the scenes stuff that goes into great design. I don't know a lot about graphic design or photoshop...but I really wish I had a background in that (I NEVER thought I would say that in my life...we always made fun of the graphic designers in college because they weren't 'real' artists!) Some days, while I am teaching about color mixing (AGAIN!), I just wish I could be at home making a card or writing or learning. I love kids and being in the classroom, but this blog has encouraged me to think beyond education and keep my possibilities open.

I have several goals including getting published, (I submitted a bunch of stuff this month to paper craft magazine) being on a design team, (still searching for the perfect thing....) maintaining my Etsy store (I posted my first 5 items this week!), and signing up new consultants who love doing what I do as much as I do (anyone interested?).


{This little blog of mine}
This little blog of mine has changed the way I view the world around me. I spot layouts, color combinations and patterns everywhere. This blog has encouraged me to embrace the artistic experience in a way I never thought I could after my college art classes. By no means has it turned me into a perfectionist...but it has changed my perception of my work and elevated my opinion and ability to recognize what is good and what is crap. My style is always evolving and changing and I appreciate the talents and efforts of those gifted artists that I follow every day.

This little blog of mine has helped me to be a more reflective artist and I enjoy that aspect of the creative process almost as much as actually finishing something.


Thanks for reading!
I will post the winner of my blog candy tomorrow morning!